Eric Stone
   

Is happiness or satisfaction sustained or temporary?

Does the type of event or incidence determine the length of time that one experiences happiness?

What does this have to do with our conversations around emotions?

Remember the five core emotions and the end goal regarding emotions is to get back to which emotion?

When we look in the mirror -whom or what looks back?

NO ONE FAMOUS - just asking questions. Reminder that you have two assignments due tomorrow (Wednesday 10-29) - Chapter 5 and the Authentic Happiness activities...

Nothing is wrong when nothing is said - sit with the feelings for it is OK to be angry and be iwth the anger. A full expression of the realm of feelings expands one's ability to express each feeling that occurs for each of us....September 1995

Here are your Level III Reaction and Response Opportunities...

1) When have you felt guilty? Was it legitimate guilt or unrealistic? Whom do you owe an apology?

2) Where, and in what specific situations, do you think you most need to use your EQ? What gets you hooked? What pushes your buttons? What are your plans for beginning to practice new skills so you don't "get got"?

3) What are some of your irrational beliefs, and how to those lead to thought distortions? How do thought distortions and defense mechanisms overlap?

Please remember that your chapter 5 assignment is due this coming Wednesday - due in part that we have no class this Friday....

One of my favorites -

Life is like an onion. You peel it back one layer at a time, and sometimes you cry. -Carl Sandburg

1) Were there problems with drugs and/or alcohol in the family? How did that affect you?

2) What style of parenting do you think your parents used? What style would you like to use and what would it take to do that?

3) What do you believe about spanking? Do you believe it is necessary? Do you think it is effective?

Heading into the next chapter - on dealing with emotions...

Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer. -Agnes Varda

You know what you may choose to do...ews

Reminder that Chapter 4 - the alternate assignment is due on Wednesday -10/22.

If interested in the L3 questions - tune in tomorrow to the blog for the prompts...

Please begin reading the next chapter - we will begin the conversation on Dealing with Emotions on Wednesday...

This Friday - I will be out at a counseling related workshop - but class will take place as scheduled.

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool. -George Santayana

Just a little something to get us on our way for the next chapter...as usual, feel free to respond...ews

PS - As in the case of "blue american" - feel free to create an identity that enables one to respond to posts while maintaining one's anonymity!

The question is laid out

For each of us to ask:

Whether to hold on

Or to drop the mask.

- Martha Boesing

In looking at our families, our real families, is there any relevance to Boesing's quote or question posed....see you Friday. -ews

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts. ~Author Unknown

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. ~Evan Esar

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. ~Ogden Nash

Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go by any rules. They're not like aches or wounds; they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Nobody has ever before asked the nuclear family to live all by itself in a box the way we do. With no relatives, no support, we've put it in an impossible situation. ~Margaret Mead

The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness. ~Nancy Mitford

The family - that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor, in our inmost hearts, ever quite wish to. ~Dodie Smith

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. ~Anthony Brandt

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. ~Fred Allen

and...

Friends are God's apology for relations. ~Hugh Kingsmill

Re-read the aforementioned quotes on family - identify the one or more that describe your family...be ready to share as we delve further into families on Friday.

Post if you would like to...If you do not want to post a response, please be ready to share in class.

Beginning reading about Family Influences in Chapter 4.

For Monday (10/13) - Please have read up through Birth Order. We will begin looking at families by reading about family history, structures, and demographics (race, culture, etc.). This will be followed by our family of origin and a discussion around birth order.

REMINDER: There is NO CLASS on Wednesday (10/15) due to the PSAT being given in school to all sophomores and juniors.

Our discussion will continue on Friday (10/17) with an examination of the concepts of functional families, step-families, parenting, and dysfunctional families.

In preparation to our conversation about families, please give some thought (possible response) to the following:

The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.
- Richard Bach

True? Controversial? Something to think about...ews

An example of the Law of Attraction at work...six months ago, number one on the birthday list was a puppy. With no intention of giving in to the number one request...Otter Pop seemingly fell into our lives on Saturday night. Law of Attraction 1 - Stone 0!

Don't forget to email your results to me from the personality type survey from yesterday.

Reminder that Chapter 3 is due tomorrow - no late reflective responses please.

Level III for those who want them...

1) What are some of the ways in which your perceptions are influenced by attribution theory? Do you have a tendency to excuse your own behavior while holding others accountable?

2) When have you been guilty of the "fatal attribution error"? Where did you get the underlying belief that may have influenced you in the situation?

3) Where (in what situations) could you begin to practice developing the character that you would like to build in your relations with others?

Character is what you are; reputation is what others think you are. Reputation is from other people; character is in you. -Thomas Jefferson

See you on Wednesday...ews

After the discussions today regarding integrity, the law of attraction, and the positive opposite theory, please select at least one of the subjects and write a (minimum) half page sharing a situation that applies to you and your life.

Integrity: Assuming you accept the definition that integrity is the alignment of our words with our actions and vice-versa, what is a time or situation where your alignment broke down, or, otherwise stated, where you went out of integrity with regard to your actions not representing your words, and how would you clean up your loss or break in personal integrity?

Law of Attraction: Think of a time that you said at the outset that the day or experience was going to be a certain way and then it was (positive or negative) - where did your energy go? How could you change the outcome (if negative) - what might you have said to yourself different?

Positive Opposite Theory: Think of a negative experience, what would be a way to put a positive spin on it - the outcomes appear negative, but the invitation is to look a little deeper for the less obvious positive outcome. Describe this to me, both the original experience and the newly found positive outcome.

Monday (10/06) will be a continuation of our assertiveness dialogue and a conversation on personality types - recall from the book the dolphin, the owl, the squirrel, and the bear.

Wednesday will wrap up the chapter, and will focus on our belief systems. Chapter III assignments are due Wednesday (10/08).

There is NO CLASS next FRIDAY -- 10/10/2008.

Anyone can blame; it takes a specialist to praise. -Konstantine Stanislavski

-ews

Your Chapter 3 Expanding Your Comfort Zones assignment is NOT DUE - I repeat not due this Friday....they will be due later next week. This chapter has too much information that I want us to discuss first before you complete your assignment.

Question for the coming class - what is integrity? Feel free to post your response to the question of what is the definition of INTEGRITY?

See you on Friday...ews

Attitude

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habit.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Last spring, one of my students told me that this poem or philosophical quotation provided for an "ah-ha" moment or an epiphany for him. What do you think of the flow from our thoughts to our destiny...something interesting to look at. Remember that it is not always the surface information that can give us the "ah-ha" - look below the surface.

Which has more power - our reality or their perception?

Expanding Comfort Zones Level III Reactions & Response:

1) What are some of the ways in which your perceptions are influenced by attribution theory? Do you have a tendency to excuse your own behavior while holding others accountable?

2) When have you been guilty of the "fatal attribution error"? Where did you get the underlying belief that may have influenced you in the situation?

3) Where (in what situations) could you begin to practice developing the character that you would like to build in your reactions with others?

Friday's focus is on Assertiveness, Personality, Character, and Belief Systems...be ready for them all.

As always, post if you feel inclined to do so...ews